Posted recently in my All About Life Coaching Journaling Community:
As I work through Building 4 in You University, I am slowly growing in my ability to find the gifts and blessings in all of the negative junk in my past. What I am noticing is that I am feeling lighter and lighter in releasing the 'old story'. I am learning to look at my life in a whole new light and it feels so great!
An example of this is that for so many years I felt like I was bad, stained, unworthy of real love. I had internalized the physical, emotional and sexual abuse I endured as being something I didn't stop and therefore must have deserved. I had been telling myself that if I was good and worthy of real love, this would not have happened to me. I was punishing myself for something that truly was not my fault. This was my old story... What gifts or blessings did I find in this?
Well, there are so many really! I have learned how to be empathetic and understanding towards others who have experienced childhood traumas similar to mine. This makes me approachable and I feel I have a gift for communicating and helping others in a very positive and loving way.
I am stronger for having endured and for having recognized that I could stop the patterns of abuse that had been handed down for generations. It has made me a much better mother for having the courage to look for better role models to pattern my parenting skills after. I learned to recognize the difference and fought to protect my family from the patterns of abuse I had endured. I learned that not every man was abusive and learned to trust again.
The blessings and gifts are really too many to list, but I admit that when I first started this assignment, it was a HUGE stretch for me to look beyond the victim role and find anything positive from the abuse I experienced. What I discovered is that by persisting to find those gifts, I began to notice that it began to snowball. In other words, I discovered a gift, one small thing, and it made me realize another, then another and so on... By finding the gifts and blessings, I was blessed with finding more & more!
Amazing healing has occured for me by being able to find the gifts rather than focusing on the toxic negative part of my experience. I am now beginning to notice that these painful memories are starting to have much less negative impact. I am truly putting the victim to rest!! Woohoo!!
An example of this is that for so many years I felt like I was bad, stained, unworthy of real love. I had internalized the physical, emotional and sexual abuse I endured as being something I didn't stop and therefore must have deserved. I had been telling myself that if I was good and worthy of real love, this would not have happened to me. I was punishing myself for something that truly was not my fault. This was my old story... What gifts or blessings did I find in this?
Well, there are so many really! I have learned how to be empathetic and understanding towards others who have experienced childhood traumas similar to mine. This makes me approachable and I feel I have a gift for communicating and helping others in a very positive and loving way.
I am stronger for having endured and for having recognized that I could stop the patterns of abuse that had been handed down for generations. It has made me a much better mother for having the courage to look for better role models to pattern my parenting skills after. I learned to recognize the difference and fought to protect my family from the patterns of abuse I had endured. I learned that not every man was abusive and learned to trust again.
The blessings and gifts are really too many to list, but I admit that when I first started this assignment, it was a HUGE stretch for me to look beyond the victim role and find anything positive from the abuse I experienced. What I discovered is that by persisting to find those gifts, I began to notice that it began to snowball. In other words, I discovered a gift, one small thing, and it made me realize another, then another and so on... By finding the gifts and blessings, I was blessed with finding more & more!
Amazing healing has occured for me by being able to find the gifts rather than focusing on the toxic negative part of my experience. I am now beginning to notice that these painful memories are starting to have much less negative impact. I am truly putting the victim to rest!! Woohoo!!
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