So interesting... I just happened to complete an exercise about friends... who in my circle are friends-in-deed - as well as those I have let go because they are toxic in my life.
It is so true that we can become "who we associate with". I am proud to say that I have done much work in this area over the last year or so. I had to let go of a couple of friendships as well as family ties that were literally sucking the life out of me. What I am left with, instead, are my TRUE friends... the ones I know would be there for me in the good times and the bad, just as I would be there for them in a heartbeat!
There was a time that I had such a low self-esteem I really allowed my 'friends' to walk all over me. "Friends" I have known almost my entire life, as well as a couple I had known for a shorter period of time, who I allowed to take advantage of me regularly and who left me drained with their negativity. They are now simply acquaintances I am polite around if I happen to see them. I didn't want to admit any of this when I first realized it either. I just wanted so badly to be their friend and went out of my way to please them. This was very self-defeating on my part.
Don't get me wrong... these are wonderful people. It just became obvious that I was not as important to them as I believed they were to me.
I got to a point in my life where I began to value myself enough to take a good, hard look at these "friends" & family members. I realized that I was better off without them. Friends don't ignore your calls and leave you hanging until they need something. Friends rejoice in your blessings and lift you when you are down.
The friends I have 'let go of' were not this kind of friend. They were mostly self-absorbed. You know, it was always about their needs, their pain, their problems, their negativity. I could meet with one of these friends and start out feeling very cheerful and glad to see them but in just a short time would notice that I suddenly felt weary, drained, down... No amount of 'cheerfulness and positivity' was going to make a difference for these naysayers. I worked too hard to keep them uplifted and in the process fell into their pit of despair. TOXIC, to say the least!
I choose to surround myself with people who really love me. I choose to have mutually satisfying relationships with people who inspire me & encourage me & are honest with me when I need them to be. These people expect the same from me and I gladly reciprocate.
By making the conscious decision to choose my close circle of friends and family, I honor myself. The others are still in my life from a distance, by my choice. I still love them - but I no longer allow them to suck the life out of me. I choose to relate to them differently - for short periods of time and on a less intimate basis.
It is so true that we can become "who we associate with". I am proud to say that I have done much work in this area over the last year or so. I had to let go of a couple of friendships as well as family ties that were literally sucking the life out of me. What I am left with, instead, are my TRUE friends... the ones I know would be there for me in the good times and the bad, just as I would be there for them in a heartbeat!
There was a time that I had such a low self-esteem I really allowed my 'friends' to walk all over me. "Friends" I have known almost my entire life, as well as a couple I had known for a shorter period of time, who I allowed to take advantage of me regularly and who left me drained with their negativity. They are now simply acquaintances I am polite around if I happen to see them. I didn't want to admit any of this when I first realized it either. I just wanted so badly to be their friend and went out of my way to please them. This was very self-defeating on my part.
Don't get me wrong... these are wonderful people. It just became obvious that I was not as important to them as I believed they were to me.
I got to a point in my life where I began to value myself enough to take a good, hard look at these "friends" & family members. I realized that I was better off without them. Friends don't ignore your calls and leave you hanging until they need something. Friends rejoice in your blessings and lift you when you are down.
The friends I have 'let go of' were not this kind of friend. They were mostly self-absorbed. You know, it was always about their needs, their pain, their problems, their negativity. I could meet with one of these friends and start out feeling very cheerful and glad to see them but in just a short time would notice that I suddenly felt weary, drained, down... No amount of 'cheerfulness and positivity' was going to make a difference for these naysayers. I worked too hard to keep them uplifted and in the process fell into their pit of despair. TOXIC, to say the least!
I choose to surround myself with people who really love me. I choose to have mutually satisfying relationships with people who inspire me & encourage me & are honest with me when I need them to be. These people expect the same from me and I gladly reciprocate.
By making the conscious decision to choose my close circle of friends and family, I honor myself. The others are still in my life from a distance, by my choice. I still love them - but I no longer allow them to suck the life out of me. I choose to relate to them differently - for short periods of time and on a less intimate basis.
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I love your choices Gina. Honouring yourself is vital.
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