This morning I'm feeling very somber.  You know how there are just days you really absorb what you are surrounded by?  Some days (most now) I can just let much of it be background noise as I focus on whatever is in front of me moment to moment, and other days I am completely absorbed in the outer influence and very sensitive physically & emotionally by what my mind & body are taking in by my surroundings.   

I recognize that my sensitivity started last night.  I was happily working on my computer when David walked in after his day of work.  I was thrilled he was home and yet a bit distracted as I was in a "groove" and wanted to complete the project I was working on.  He decided to turn on the TV and immediately I heard that Robin Williams had passed - likely a suicide.  Suddenly, as if I had just learned my own family member or close friend died,  I realized that my body was tensing up and I noticed that I had formed an inability to swallow.  Then the tears started.  I was wracked with grief!  My mind was telling me that this reaction was pretty dramatic, I mean this was not a member of my family or anybody close to me and yet I was having the very same reaction I might if it were my best friend or family member or any person I was close to.   I was very aware how suddenly my entire body and mind sort of snapped from being calm and peaceful and happy to experiencing real grief.  

I managed to calm myself, but couldn't shake the strong reaction and then a bit later David was sharing an old photo of himself, his brother, a few other men in his family and his father who passed away not long after that photo was taken.  It's a wonderful photo and David smiled and shared some memories of that time in his life, very excited and proud.  My heart was overcome by his joy of his young childhood memories and the little girl in me wanted to share the same, so I opened an old box of photos I had not looked in for many years.  As soon as I saw the first picture of myself as a little girl,  I was again struck with a deep sadness.  This photo triggered something inside.  

Were the pictures associated with too many hard memories?  Possibly.  Was it in hearing about Robin Williams dieing which set off memories and that familiar grief of having lost so many of my own family?  Death seems to be the prevailing theme...  I am working on just allowing the feelings and noticing what my mind is saying and how my body is reacting.  It's quite amazing how one incident can trigger such emotion and set into motion more of the same.  Law of attraction?  I really think I would prefer attracting something more positive!  

I best get to working on moving through these feelings of grief so that I can focus on the things I want to attract more of!  This journal entry is a good first step.  Next, I think I'll write a Love Letter to Death and put him to rest for a while.  Then a gratitude list to move my feelings into a happier place.  I can feel the tension slowly easing knowing I have these tools to use.  Whew, I'm sure glad for that!  There was a time in my life I would have wallowed in the hard feelings for way too long not knowing there was a way to work through them and into feelings of joy and gratitude and love.  I'm so grateful I have YOU University tools!!